Auschwitz

The approach to the Auschwitz I concentration camp

Sunday 23 Sept  2007:  After the relaxed and  carefree previous days, today was a sombre reminder of the evil of which human beings are capable.

We visited the two main Nazi concentration camps at  Auschwitz (in Polish: Oświęcim).  It is estimated that 1.3 million people were incarcerated in the camps at Auschwitz, of which 1.1 million were put to death or died. About 90 percent were Jews:  one-sixth of the total number of Jews killed in the Nazi holocaust lost their lives at Auschwitz.  

The entrance of Auschwitz I with the misleading sign Arbeit Macht Frei (Work Sets You Free)

The first camp, known as Auschwitz I, was a former army barracks close to the centre of the town, which the Nazis converted into a camp, holding prisoners from 1940. 

23 Sept 2007:  Ali at the Auschwitz I camp

The paths were  bumpy and it was painful and difficult for Ali to get around, though of course she made no complaint. She wanted to be aware of what had taken place there, including Block 11 which was known as the "death block,"  where many prisoners were tortured and killed, sometimes by starvation.

At the end of July 1941 ten men were chosen to be starved to death in punishment for the escape of a prisoner.  One of the men chosen,  Franciszek Gajowniczek,  was distraught for his wife and family.  Hearing this, the Franciscan priest, Fr Maximilian Kolbe, volunteered to take his place, and had his offer accepted. He encouraged those condemned to death with him, leading them in prayer.  Without food and water he alone was alive after two weeks, and so the Nazis ended his life on 14 August with a lethal injection.   Franciszek Gajowniczek survived his incarceration and lived until 1995, dying at the age of 93.  He was present at the canonisation of St Maximilian Kolbe in 1982.

The entrance to Block 11 (the death block)

Block 11 - the death block .  The execution wall (see below) is in the yard through the entrance on the left

The Execution Wall between Blocks 10 and 11

Looking into Cell 18 in Block 11, where St Maximilian Kolbe and his companions were starved to death

Inside Cell 18 in Block 11.

Between Blocks 10 and 11 was the Execution Wall, where thousands of prisoners were shot. Being at these places of death, seeing the block with shoes and trunks piled up, and also seeing the crematorium, was a sobering experience.

The crematorium at Auschwitz I

Because of the increasing number of prisoners at Auschwitz I, a new camp, known as the Auschwitz II - Birkenau camp,  was built from October 1941, a couple of miles away on the outskirts of the town.  It was designed to house up to 50,000 prisoners, who would also be a forced work-force, but its numbers grew to about 200,000 at a time.  It became not only a work camp but an extermination camp too.

Approaching the entrance of the Auschwitz II - Birkenau camp 

The entrance of the camp

Looking into the camp from the entrance tower

The entrance tower from within the camp

The vastness of the camp - view to the right of the entrance tower

Barracks would each contain 700 or more prisoners

Inside the barracks that housed the prisoners

The retreating Nazis blew up the gas chambers

The ruins of the gas chambers

The ground still holds the ashes of some of the 1.1 million people killed at Auschwitz

Krakow

Krakow 22 Sept 2007.  At Wawel Royal Castle and Cathedral

On 22 Sept 2007 we visited parts of the historical centre of Krakow, starting with Wawel Castle and the Cathedral next to it.  As Archbishop of Krakow from 1964-1968 this was Karol Wojtyla's Cathedral, and it therefore had a particular connection to him.

Wawel Castle and Cathedral

Ali especially liked the castle courtyard

Karol Wojtyla was ordained priest on 1st November 1946.  As the next day was All Souls Day, when priests are allowed to say three Masses,  he had the unusual privilege of being able to say three "first Masses" which were said at a remarkably simple altar in the Cathedral crypt of St Leonard.

The altar where Karol Wojytla celebrated his first Masses in the Crypt of St Leonard.

In the centre of the city we passed the Archbishop's residence at 3 Franciszkanska Street.  During his returns to Krakow as Pope, John Paul II stayed here, and multitudes of young people would gather outside each night singing and calling to him.  He would join them at the window above the main entrance, and when we were there in 2007 there was (and still is, I think, to this day) a life size picture of John Paul II at the window, as though he were continuing to impart his blessing on those who pass by.

The residence of the Archbishop of Krakow at 3 Franciszkanska Street

Karol Wojtyla had lived here not only while he was Archbishop of Krakow, but also for part of his seminarian studies during the Second World War.  It was here in the  private chapel of the Cardinal-Archbishop that he was ordained a priest.

Wondering whether it might be possible for us to see inside, I thought that the only way to find out was to try!  We walked into the courtyard where there was a display about the life of John Paul II.  Few people were there.  As we finished looking at the display a priest passed by who, thankfully, spoke English so I could ask whether it might be possible to visit the Cardinal-Archbishop's private chapel.  He was, in fact, the Cardinal's secretary and said he would find out.

The courtyard of the Archbishop's residence

At that time the Archbishop of Krakow was Cardinal Stanislaw Dziwisz.  Just three years after his ordination as a priest, he had been appointed private secretary to Archbishop Karol Wojtyla in 1966,  and, moving in due course to Rome, continued as private secretary for the next 39 years until the death of Pope John Paul II in 2005. Pope Benedict XVI subsequently appointed him Archbishop of Krakow and Cardinal.

The Cardinal's secretary mentioned that the Cardinal was due to be leaving the residence in about 10 minutes and directed us to an area where we could meet him as he left.  This was wholly unexpected. Cardinal Dziwisz stopped to speak with us for a few minutes and gave us his blessing. There was nobody else around except staff accompanying him.  It was as privileged a meeting as it was unexpected.  Ali was very taken with Cardinal Dziwisz, finding him very calm, peaceful and humble.

Ali greets Cardinal Stanislaw Dziwisz

Cardinal Dziwisz gives Ali a blessing.

As he left with the Cardinal, his secretary told us that he had arranged for us to visit the private chapel, which was another unexpected bonus - to see where Karol Wojtyla had been ordained priest and where, as Archbishop, he often locked himself away for hours to pray and write.  The porter took us to the chapel and left us, and we were able to stay there for nearly an hour.

22 Sept 2007: The private chapel of the Archbishop of Krakow
where Karol Wojtyla had been ordained priest

A photo of John Paul II returning to the private chapel as Pope

It was a gloriously sunny day in Krakow, and we enjoyed visits to many beautiful and historic places, as well as basking in the wonderful atmosphere of being in such a beautiful city.

Ali in front of St Mary's basilica

The main square with St Mary's basilica

Poland 2007

Wadowice,Poland  - 21 Sept 2007
(Parish church on the left and Karol Wojytla's childhood home on the right)

Twelve years ago, on 21 September 2007, Ali and I had our first day in Poland, having arrived at Katowice airport and made our way to Wadowice the previous evening.

Wadowice was the birthplace of Karol Wojtyla, the future Pope John Paul II,  and was where he lived until he was 18.  So many of the places we visited in Poland had associations with Pope John Paul II that it had the feel of a pilgrimage and Wadowice was a fitting place to begin.

While Ali slept on I went out shortly after 6am.  We were staying just a few minutes from St Mary's parish Church and I was surprised to see not only that the Church was open (something I've never known to happen anywhere in England at that time of the morning!) but that there was a considerable number of people already inside, queuing for Confession and waiting for early morning Mass.

Thankfully there was a later Mass for Ali and I to attend when we departed from our B&B at about 10am.

The parish Church of St. Mary at Wadowice

The baptismal font of Karol Wojtyla in St Mary's Church

Returning as Pope to the parish Church and the font where he had been baptised.

Pope John Paul II had died two and a half years before our visit, and there were many remembrances of him at Wadowice and other places we visited.  It was touching to see, in the parish Church, the font where he had been baptised on 20 June 1920, and also touching to see the photo of  John Paul II praying at the font years later when he returned to his home parish as Pope.

Right next to the Church was the apartment in which Karol Wojtyla was born on 18 May 1920, and where he spent his childhood.   It is now a museum about his life.  It had seemed impossible for Ali to visit as it is on the first floor which is reached by a spiral staircase.  Thankfully we met a group of American seminarians from Chicago, who were a very impressive introduction for Ali and me to the Canons Regular of St John Cantius.   Very ably and with respect for Ali and good humour, they enabled Ali to enter and exit the apartment with no difficulty.  Ali was very grateful to them and pleased to be able to visit Pope John Paul II's childhood home.

With the Canons Regular of St John Cantius who assisted Ali

Inside John Paul II's birthplace and childhood home

Ali before a cassock and other items worn by John Paul II

I was told one couldn't visit Wadowice without trying "Pope cake."  It's more of a cream pie, also known as kremowka, but is given the papal name as it was a favourite of Pope John Paul II.   Ali couldn't be persuaded to try it but insisted I did, and she took a photo to prove it.

Photo taken by Ali.

"Mary said 'yes' and saved the world"

Ali at the Chapel of the Annunciation, Nazareth (27 Sept 2005)

In a recent post I mentioned that I did not know how to pray the rosary until Ali taught me at the age of 23. She taught me as we returned from Lourdes, on the trip that led to my staying with her in Dorset. Though born and raised a Catholic I did not 'get' the role of Mary.   I had been to Lourdes on two occasions, 5-6 years before I went with Ali in 1989,  but I neither understood the role of Mary nor prayed the rosary.  The night we left Lourdes, Friday 28 July 1989, Ali was somewhat distressed (which I'll write about another time).  Later, she calmed down and, as she spoke quietly,  I was struck by the profundity of her knowledge of and acceptance of the Catholic faith - even though she was not then a Catholic.  One phrase - a very simple phrase - stood out for me. Ali expressed a truth that I had not known until then - in spite of all my years of attending Catholic schools and Masses, etc. -  when she said very simply:  "Mary said 'yes' and saved the world." The words hit me profoundly and etched themselves on my mind, dominating my thoughts in the following days.

In September 2005, during our first and only pilgrimage to the Holy Land,  Ali and I visited the place where that 'yes' was uttered.  We traveled by car to Nazareth and, not being part of a larger group, were able to visit the Chapel of the Annunciation (within the large Basilica of the Annunciation) and spend a considerable time alone there pondering on Mary's 'yes' which saved the world.  The Chapel is the place of Mary's 'yes'  and of the Incarnation of the Son of Jesus, hence the inscription on the altar: "Verbum caro hic factum est"  (Here the Word was made flesh). Jesus took flesh directly as a result of Mary's 'yes'.  He is the Saviour of the World.  But without Mary's 'yes' we would have no Saviour.

Today the Church celebrates the great feast of the Annunciation.  The Church immerses herself in the mystery of the angel Gabriel's revelation to Mary, her 'yes,' and the Incarnation of the Son of God as a zygote and developing embryo.   It is a celebration of the awesomeness of human life from its very beginning,  and of the redemption and eternal life that God desires for each of us.  Whether natural or eternal, may we always be willing to say 'yes' to life and God's will for us.

27 Sept 2005:  Chapel of the Annunciation, Nazareth

27 Sept 2005:  Ali outside the Basilica of the Annunciation, Nazareth

Libenter gloriabor in infirmitatibus meis

Libenter gloriabor in infirmitatibus meis

The second reading at Ali's funeral was taken from the 2nd letter of St Paul to the Corinthians.  It was a passage Ali introduced me to shortly after I started living in Dorset in August 1989, noting the paradox that, contrary to the world's estimation of power, true power is discovered in weakness and infirmities and brokenness. It was one of Ali's favourite passages of Scripture, if not her favourite. Whereas the 'natural' tendency is to esteem and "boast" of health, money, success, power, good looks, fame, and such things, St Paul makes the extraordinary "boast" of nothing other than his weaknesses.

On my own behalf I will not boast, except of my weaknesses.  But if I wish to boast, I will not be a fool, for I will be speaking the truth. But I refrain from it, so that no one may think better of me than what is seen in me or heard from me, even considering the exceptional character of the revelations.  Therefore, to keep me from being too elated, a thorn was given me in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to torment me, to keep me from being too elated. Three times I appealed to the Lord about this, that it would leave me, but he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for power is made perfect in weakness."  So, I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses [libenter igitur gloriabor in infirmitatibus meis], so that the power of Christ may dwell in me.  Therefore I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities for the sake of Christ; for whenever I am weak, then I am strong.  (2 Cor 12: 5-10. NRSV translation)

Libenter gloriabor in infirmitatibus meis:   I will gladly boast of my weaknesses.  Other translations render the Latin differently.  For example, the Douay-Rheims translation is "Gladly will I glory in my infirmities." This short phrase, from a passage of the Holy Bible that meant so much for Ali, seems to me to be a fitting epitaph for her.  Ali "gloried" in her weaknesses - her infirmities of body, mind and spirit.  Her infirmities were not merely the obvious limitations associated with physical disability, sickness and pain, but also various social, emotional, mental and spiritual sufferings that she experienced acutely.  It seems fitting to me for Ali's epitaph to be expressed in the Latin, which leaves it open to different interpretations.

Ali recognised that her many weaknesses and varied sufferings were a great gift.  She could gladly accept them in her life,  and gladly accept other people with weaknesses and sufferings, because she recognised the paradox of the greatness of the gift. A particularly acute "gift of suffering" was encapsulated in an event on 22 March, a few years before I got to know Ali.   The day was one of great suffering for her, but in it she saw the face of the divine.  It changed her life.

It has taken me far too long to arrange for Ali's headstone to be installed over her grave by the village church in Milborne St Andrew,  Dorset. I had been informed that it would be ready for installation in May.  Yesterday I was told that it might be installed today.  As the pictures show,  the headstone has been installed.  And it is fitting that it should have happened on this date. 

Ali's headstone (2nd from left) with St Andrew's Church in the background.

Ali's headstone - installed on 22 March 2019

Farewell to Rome

22 Feb 2009: Ali's wheelchair without its big wheels

Looking at the photos from February 2009 in Rome I see I have a rare one of Ali using her wheelchair with the big wheels removed.   Ali's chair had small back runner wheels (as can be seen in the picture) and removable large wheels.  This enabled the width of her chair to be a couple of inches narrower, which was sometimes essential if we were to travel in an  affordable way.  Many hotels in Rome (and elsewhere) have narrow elevator doors, and it was impossible for Ali to enter with her large wheels.  Also, in many places bathroom doors are narrow and it was very helpful for Ali's wheelchair to have this flexibility.  Most don't.

This was Ali's final visit to Rome, and we just had time to hear Pope Benedict's Angelus address and receive his blessing before we left for the airport.

22 Feb 2009:  Ali at the Angelus with Pope Benedict XVI

The two photos above show the same view from Ali's sitting perspective (top) and my standing perspective (bottom).  We were standing back from others, because Ali would have been unable to see much if too close to the person in front.  It is a reminder to me how Ali was often at a disadvantage on account of being so low down.  Being in a crowd could be very claustrophobic for her.

We fitted a lot into the week and it was a very fulfilling last visit of Ali's to Rome.

22 Feb 2009:  The last Angelus with Pope Benedict

Meeting Colleen Bayer and Elizabeth

21 Feb 2009:  Ali with Colleen Bayer and little Elizabeth

The audience with Pope Benedict had an unexpected and very welcome bonus.  While waiting to be admitted to the audience hall Ali and I met, for the first time, Colleen Bayer, who was to become a dear friend.  Colleen is the founder and Director of Family Life International (FLI) in New Zealand, and was in Rome with 3 year old Elizabeth.  Elizabeth was born with Down's Syndrome and is also profoundly deaf.  Her young mother was unable to support her, so Colleen and her husband Terry welcomed Elizabeth into their own family - as they had with other children before Elizabeth.

Shortly after returning from Rome Ali received a call from Colleen asking if she would speak at the FLI conference in New Zealand later in the year in October.  She was delighted to go, even though she was very unwell for most of the trip.   Apart from a pilgrimage to Lourdes six months before died, it was Ali's last overseas' trip, and was the occasion of her last major talk.  Ali did not generally speak publicly on religious topics, but in New Zealand she spoke (among other things) of her conversion from atheism to Catholicism, and how suffering with Christ is "the greatest privilege possible in the world." 

The friendship with Colleen and her family developed not only in New Zealand , but on subsequent visits to our home in Dorset when Colleen was in the UK.  Colleen even came over from New Zealand solely to be present at Ali's funeral in December 2013.   Clearly,  Colleen had much regard for Ali, but it was a mutual regard, and a friendship that Ali treasured.  Ali was impressed not only with what Colleen had done to promote the cause of life through FLI, but that she embraced the cause personally, at considerable cost, within her own family, by her selfless dedication to those with particular needs.  There are many great people in the pro-life movement, and Colleen Bayer (with her husband Terry) is among the best of them.  

Colleen Bayer with Elizabeth and one of the Tyburn Sisters based in Rome.

Ali with Elizabeth

Elizabeth