A special friendship with the Lewin family

Dec 2009: Ali with
Ben (then 13), Marie (11), Malachy (7), Samuel (10) and Patrick (5).
with Amanda and Mark Lewin behind

When they heard about Ali's anniversary Requiem Mass, Ben, Samuel, Malachy and Patrick Lewin immediately expressed their desire to serve at it.

Ali had seen the boys grow up, and also Mark and Amanda Lewin's eldest daughter, Marie. Their youngest daughter, Grace, had only just had her third birthday when Ali died, but Ali was pleased to have been able to attend her baptism at the Oxford Oratory when she was a few weeks old. Ali was not well even then, and it was the last time she was able to travel to Oxford.

Nov 2010: after Grace's baptism

Her close friendship with Amanda and Mark meant a lot to Ali, and she had the love of a godmother for each of their children. It was a joy for Ali to be a part of their childhood, and she was delighted to let them borrow her wheelchair to ride in - or just  to sit in to play the violin, as Marie is doing in one of the pictures below.  Ali also had the joy of seeing the older ones mature into fine young adults.

Ali would have appreciated all the boys serving the recent anniversary Requiem Mass. The two older boys, Ben and Samuel, said it was an honour to be among those carrying Ali's coffin at her funeral last year, into and out of the Church and even to the burial.

Three weeks before Ali died, Marie came for a few days to help care for her.  Her presence lifted Ali's spirits and it was beautiful to see Marie's loving concern for Ali as well as the joy her presence gave Ali.

At the risk of embarrassing them with photos taken when they were younger, here are several photos taken over the years of Ali with members of the Lewin family who were so very dear to her.

Dec 1998: With Ben (then 2) and Marie (nearly 1)

Dec 1998: Ali with Amanda and Marie.

Aug 1999: At Weymouth beach -  with 2 month old Samuel too

May 2004: With Marie and Amanda's parents, Sheila and David

July 2004 - Patrick at a month old

July 2004: Samuel, Ben, Marie, Malachy - angelic!

May 2005: Marie's First Holy Communion

Nov 2006: the day of Samuel's First Holy Communion

Nov 2006: with Marie

Nov 2006: A 'moment' between Ali and Malachy

June 2007: Amanda with Ali

Nov 2007: With Ben and Marie after their Confirmation

Dec 2007: Marie in Ali's wheelchair with Malachy (left) and
would-be rocker, Patrick. Ali's feet got in too!

Dec 2009: With 10 year old Samuel.

2014 - the Lewin family today

Ali's first anniversary Requiem Mass

Anniversary Requiem Mass - 3 Dec. 2014

It was good to be joined by so many for Ali's anniversary Requiem Mass at Corpus Christi Church, Maiden Lane, London, last Wednesday (3 December). Some travelled long distances to be there.

Sincere thanks to Fr Brendan Gerard, FSSP, for making the arrangements for the Mass and for being the celebrant, and to Fr Tim Finigan and Fr Michael Cullinan who functioned, respectively, as deacon and sub-deacon.

The start of the Mass was delayed as the M.C. was unexpectedly unable to attend due to an emergency. He had the vestments for the deacon and subdeacon, and in his absence Mass had to proceed without their wearing the dalmatic and tunicle, as they would normally. Because Mass was late starting, Fr Brendan truncated his homily, but I am happy to post it in full below. It fittingly explains why we pray for the dead.

Ali's good friend Amanda Lewin has sent me some photos taken during the Mass.  The altar servers were her four boys, Ben, Samuel, Malachy and Patrick, who served with their customary reverence and competence.

_______________________________________________________________

Homily of Fr Brendan Gerard FSSP for the first anniversary Requiem Mass

Fr Brendan Gerard, FSSP

Prayer for the dead is attested in biblical Judaism, and as a late development. It’s mentioned in the second book of Maccabees, a book which the Catholic Church, by her apostolic faith, recognizes as inspired and canonical. 2 Maccabees dates from the latter half of the second century BC, and records events from the first half of that century. Even those who don’t accept the book as canonical can hardly deny its historical value as evidence for the belief and practice of at least one current of Judaism at that time. But why does prayer for the dead appear so late? Because it depends on belief in the bodily resurrection, which by the Maccabean period had been accepted by some Jews, the theological forefathers of the Pharisees, but not by all. Two centuries later, the resurrection was still contested by the priestly aristocrats known as the Sadducees.

In the passage from 2 Maccabees that we heard in this Mass, the army commander Judas Maccabaeus raises money to pay the expenses of a sin offering for his fallen soldiers who were found to have forbidden pagan images on their persons. “In doing this,” says the author, "he acted very well and honourably, taking account of the resurrection. For if he were not expecting that those who had fallen would rise again, it would have been superfluous and foolish to pray for the dead." (2 Macc 12:43b-44 RSVCE)

For this biblical author, then, prayer for the dead makes sense only if the dead rise again. The future life, as he – and, later, the Pharisees – conceived it, necessarily involves bodily resurrection. Our Lord supported the Pharisees on this point. The doctrine of the resurrection can be justified anthropologically: since man is soul and body, spirit and flesh, something would be wrong if, after death, a man were to exist forever as a disembodied ghost. From the biblical point of view, that we have to die at all means that something has already gone wrong, but that’s another problem. The fact that Jesus rose bodily from the dead is the proof that the body participates in the life of the world to come. In Our Lord’s thought, this truth is not only anthropological, but above all theological. Jesus justifies this doctrine on the basis of God’s self-revelation to Moses: “I am the God of your father, the God of Abraham, the God of Isaac, and the God of Jacob” (Exod 2:6). Abraham, Isaac and Jacob are God’s friends, and as such they can’t be thought of merely as dead patriarchs. “He is not God of the dead, but of the living,” says Jesus (Matt 22:32b & par). If the patriarchs are friends of the living God, they too are destined for life – and that implies the resurrection. Jesus himself, the Son of God, the first to rise from the dead to imperishable life, will be the agent of resurrection at the consummation of human history. The Gospel of our Mass, from John ch. 6, concludes with this “mission statement” from Our Lord: “this is the will of my Father, that every one who sees the Son and believes in him should have eternal life; and I will raise him up at the last day” (John 6:40).

The letter to the Hebrews warns us that the word of God is “sharper than any two-edged sword” (Heb 4:12), and the doctrine of the resurrection is in its own way double-edged. On the one hand, the hope of resurrection means that the catastrophe of bodily death is drastically relativized. Death no longer has the appalling finality that it has in the eyes of those “who have no hope,” as St Paul puts it (1 Thess 4:13). On the other hand, since bodily life will not be abolished but transformed on the last day, bodily life matters. That enigmatic truth of faith, the identity of the earthly body with the transfigured body, forces us to take bodily life seriously. That’s why we cannot remain indifferent to the killing of innocent people, however small, sick or old they may be. We can’t reconcile ourselves to it with an existential shrug. We can look at it philosophically, if you like – with that Christian philosophy that we find in St John’s Revelation. The souls of the martyrs under the altar cry out to God: “how long before thou wilt judge and avenge our blood on those who dwell upon the earth?” (Rev 6:10). And the answer? The martyrs are to rest “until the number of their fellow servants and their brethren should be complete, who were to be killed as they themselves had been” (Rev 6:11). In other words, killing God’s saints and innocents is the way world behaves, and we can expect it to carry on doing so, in one way or another, until God blows the final whistle. 

Belief in the resurrection, and the view of the human person that the resurrection implies, are convictions we shared with Alison, our friend. Before she was received into the Catholic Church, before she returned to Christian belief at all, Alison came to oppose infanticide and abortion in the light of natural reason. That, of course, was entirely correct. Even without supernatural faith, the human conscience is in principle capable of recognizing that to take innocent life is a very grave injustice. Belief in the resurrection confirms what reason already tells us: that the human being may never be treated as a disposable commodity, or as an expendable incommodity. That is also a lesson that Alison helped us to learn, with a pedagogy that was uniquely hers. Now she knows better than us not only what we see by the light of reason, but also what we know by revelation, that “lamp shining in a dark place, until the day dawns” (2 Peter 1:19). She has gone further than us on the journey to that city where “the glory of God is its light and its lamp is the Lamb” (Rev 21:23). Requiescat in pace. 

Does Ali need our prayers?

If it is my conviction that Ali is a saint (as I have said previously on this blog), is there any need to pray for her? And why should there be a Requiem Mass for the repose of her soul, as there was for her anniversary on Wednesday?

The best answer I can give to the questions is that the Church recommends that we pray for the dead, and there is no better prayer than the Holy Sacrifice of the Mass. The Mass is the sacramental perpetuation of the sacrifice of Jesus Christ on behalf of fallen humanity, so that our sins may be forgiven and that we may be able to live in union with God - imperfectly on earth and perfectly in heaven. It is only through that Sacrifice that the possibility exists for Ali to be in heaven.

A Requiem Mass expresses the desire that the particular person or persons being prayed for may be united with God in heaven.  It may well be that the desire expressed in the Mass has already been fulfilled. If I recall correctly, St Pio of Pietrelcina  (Padre Pio) said that he offered Masses for the repose of the soul of his mother even though he knew she was in heaven - because he knew that her early admittance to heaven was in anticipation of those Masses.

The Church recommends that we pray for the dead because most of us are not ready to meet God face to face when we die.  We need to be purified to become ready for eternal union with God. This purification - called purgatory - is understandably regarded as a period of trial and suffering. In his beautiful poem, The Dream of Gerontius, Blessed John Henry Newman describes the journey of a soul to God, and mentions that the period of purgatory is aided by Masses on earth and prayers from heaven.

There is a part of the Dream of Gerontius that strikes me each time I read it, and especially when I hear it in Elgar's setting of it. The soul of the old man who has died (Gerontius) has the briefest of glimpses of God and in that instant recognises his unworthiness to enter into God's presence, and his need for purification:

Take me away, and in the lowest deep

There let me be,

And there in hope the lone night-watches keep,

Told out for me.

There, motionless and happy in my pain,

Lone, not forlorn,—

There will I sing my sad perpetual strain,

Until the morn.

There will I sing, and soothe my stricken breast,

Which ne'er can cease

To throb, and pine, and languish, till possest

Of its Sole Peace.

There will I sing my absent Lord and Love:—

Take me away, That sooner I may rise, and go above, And see Him in the truth of everlasting day.

Much of the reason for my conviction that Ali is already in union with God in heaven is that I believe she experienced on earth much if not all of the purgatory that most of us require after we die. She had experienced God's love and mercy, and she sought to love Him with all her heart, mind and strength, which she demonstrated in loving others, at great personal cost.  She had an appreciation of the awesomeness of God, how much (in fact, everything!) she owed Him, and of her littleness in relation to Him.  Ali was profoundly humble.  Far from believing that she had 'achieved' anything in life, her tearful lamentation on the Saturday, three days before she died, was "I got everything wrong."  

It is my understanding that the Church does not allow eulogies at funerals (even though they sometimes take place.)   In any case, Ali had specified that there should be no eulogy at her funeral. She knew that praise would be of no benefit to her,  and she anticipated (rightly or wrongly) that, like others, she would need prayers to assist her after death.  

There is a tendency nowadays to proclaim that those who have died instantly enter heaven, in which case there is little else to do than sing their praises.  Many lose sight of the fact that those who have died normally need purification and are aided by our prayers.  I believe that Ali is among the greatest of the saints in heaven, but that most of us are likely to need a period of purification before becoming among the least of the saints in heaven.

In due course the Church will decide whether to investigate Ali's cause for canonisation.  Only the act of canonisation itself is a definitive, infallible act of declaration that someone is with God in heaven, though the earlier stages of the process (during which the person under consideration is given progressively the titles Servant of God, Venerable and Blessed) reflect the Church's growing conviction that he or she is.

I can express only my personal conviction, but I cannot say infallibly, that Ali is a saint in heaven. The Church encourages us to pray for the dead, and I agree with that wise encouragement.

In Paradisum

Fauré's beautiful setting of the "In Paradisum" expresses the desire for eternal bliss that we have for our loved ones who have gone before us.

One year ago today, on 3 December 2013,  at 8.40am, Ali entered into eternal life.  I find it impossible to believe that the angels and saints did not welcome her joyfully into the paradise of eternal union with God, which she had desired so ardently and for which she had prepared so lovingly.

In paradisum deducant te Angeli;

 in tuo adventu suscipiant te martyres,

 et perducant te in civitatem sanctam Ierusalem. 

Chorus angelorum te suscipiat, 

et cum Lazaro quondam paupere 

æternam habeas requiem.

May the angels escort you into paradise;

 at your coming, may the martyrs receive you

 and bring you into the holy city, Jerusalem. 

May the chorus of angels receive you,

 and with Lazarus, once a poor man,

 may you have eternal rest.

Ali - in 1995

Living and Dying with Dignity

The last photo of Ali was taken on 24 November 2013

As the first anniversary of Ali's death approaches, it is inevitable that thoughts go back to the events of last year.  The last photo of Ali was taken on this day last year when she enjoyed a visit from her sister, Tina, and brother-in-law, Tony.   

Ali cheerfully joined in singing 'happy birthday,' and helped me to blow out the candle on a lovely chocolate cake Tina had made.  I felt quite choked, realising that it would be the last birthday candle Ali would blow out.   She would have enough breath for nine more days.

There is currently discussion in Parliament of Lord Falconer's Assisted Dying Bill. If enacted it would enable  patients, who are judged (rightly or wrongly) to have a life expectancy of less than 6 months, to commit suicide by obtaining prescription drugs to end their life.   

As is well known, Ali frequently wrote and spoke in the media (from about 6 mins 30 secs on the linked clip) against any form of "assisted dying" or "assisted suicide" or "voluntary euthanasia." She spoke against it with compassion, knowing well that life can be wretched and that death can be appealing - as it was for Ali for several years. She knew that if Lord Falconer's Bill, with its risible 'strict safeguards,' had been enacted thirty years ago she would have qualified to be killed in the late 1980s when life was at its lowest for her and when doctors thought she had less than six months to live.

It would obviously have been a tragedy if an "assisted dying" law had facilitated Ali's death nearly 30 years earlier.  And, of course, if Ali's life had been ended then nobody would have known that she could have lived for many years, and would have come to find a meaning and value to living, even though her physical and other difficulties continued.  But it would also have been a tragedy if an "assisted dying" law had cut short Ali's life even for those last nine precious days.  

Ali objected to the way proponents of assisted suicide have hijacked our language - the mantra of 'dying with dignity' has led to an increasingly widespread attitude that if you are terminally ill or disabled you can only have 'dignity' if you are killed.  The final days of Ali's life, which included much suffering, were lived with great dignity and she died with great dignity - a far greater dignity than those who choose 'the easier way out'  of suicide.

In September I was invited to speak at the national conference of the Society for the Protection of Unborn Children (SPUC) on the subject:  "Suffering for what we value: the legacy of Alison Davis." In concluding the talk I said a little about Ali's last days.  It seems fitting to reproduce now what I said then:

I haven’t spoken of Ali’s opposition to assisted suicide or euthanasia, mainly because I want to make just a single point now on this topic.  I don’t think it will be helpful as a public argument but I think it is something that needs to be learned and incorporated into the lives of those who don’t accept killing as the appropriate response to human suffering.    The point I want to make – which was Ali’s unspoken lesson to me in her final days – is that a painless death, without difficulties, is not really what matters.   

Ali had a week of respite care in the local hospice in October of last year and then spent the last six weeks of her life at home.  Some time after getting home she was unable to get out of bed even to go to the bathroom.   I was struck by the fact that, though it was a time of upheaval and of momentous change, it was a very peaceful time.  It sounds strange to say but – paradoxically – it was possibly the best six weeks of my life. 

When it was clear that Ali was dying a number of friends visited.  They normally had to wait a while to see her and then it would be for just a few minutes.  Ali had pain and was exhausted and her ability to interact was limited, but she was joyful.  The final photograph of her [above] was taken with me on 24 November, nine days before she died.

I want to stress that Ali received excellent care from our local GPs, nurses, health care assistants, and also from our local hospice.  They were faultless.  They were concerned that Ali was in too much pain. At best it was bad enough; at times it was extreme.  However, it seemed to me that, paradoxically, the more they tried to ease her pain the more she had.   This was especially after they put her on a syringe driver four days before she died.  The only way to be painless would be if she were totally zonked out, which she didn’t want.

Ali died at home on the morning of Tuesday 3 December.  She lost her swallow reflex on the Sunday night.  So from then, she could no longer take even small drops of liquid to drink; or liquid morphine for pain.  She would generally wake up for short periods, with pain coming soon after she was awake.  

About 8pm on the Monday night, after being awake for an hour or so, the pain was so extreme she wanted me to call the out-of-hours doctor.  It was known that if she called the out-of-hours service, Ali would receive an injection of diamorphine which she duly received and it zonked her out in seconds.  Knowing that she hadn’t had liquids for nearly 24 hours, and expecting that the diamorphine would last some time, it seemed to me that Ali might die without waking up again.

I was surprised, then, when Ali woke up at 1am.   She could say little – a few words at a time.  Often she would respond just 'yes' or 'no' to my questions.   It was soon clear that she was in pain. 

-  Do you have pain? "Yes."  -  Is it very bad?  "Yes." - Do you want me to call the doctor to give you something?  "No."   I frequently asked her if she wanted me to call the doctor to help with the pain. She always said "no".  I would ask:  - Are you happy?  She always said, and you could read it in her eyes: "Yes!" 

Ali once said that our life in the world is like that of an unborn child.   In a way ,we are unborn.  The unborn child knows only the womb.  He or she doesn’t know the marvellous world that lies beyond the womb. The suffering of his mother accompanies the child into the world – and it is traumatic for the child.  The world, Ali said, is like a mother’s womb.  It is a preparation for what lies beyond.  What lies beyond is so much beyond our imagination, just as the world is beyond the imagination of a child in the womb.  Just as suffering accompanies our entrance into the world, so it is fitting that it accompanies our exit from the world.  We prepare for what lies beyond.

I am convinced that Ali didn’t ask me to call the out-of-hours doctor again, because she knew that if she received another injection of diamorphine she would be zonked out for the rest of her journey into the next world.  She didn’t want that.   She wasn’t clinging on to life, afraid to let go – the sentence she said more than any other in her last weeks and days  was “I want to go home.”  She was anticipating her eternal destiny – but she knew she wanted to take with her as much as she could.  And what can we take with us?  Not material goods – but  the treasures of our good actions, our prayers, our suffering,  our love.

How precious were those last hours of Ali's life!  The good deed she performed then, contributing to the treasures she took with her, was a final lesson to me - and, through me, to you and others - how to die with real dignity and courage.  She prayed - expressing sorrow for the things she got wrong in life - and offered up her suffering to God, in loving gratitude for the life she had been given, and for  all His love and mercies. 

Ali amassed all the treasures she could of good deeds, prayers, suffering and love - while she had the opportunity to do so.  And for some silly reason she loved me and wanted to spend as much time as she could with me. 

 So she didn’t want me to call the doctor to zonk her out. She wanted to be sat upright in the bed – which ensured that she would live longer – and for me to hold her.  I encouraged her as best I could. We prayed.  Her body gradually wound down in a way I had never experienced before and eventually she lost all ability to communicate.. I believe though that she remained conscious, and could hear the ongoing encouragement and prayers, until the end.   Ali died at 8:40 in the morning.

She could have died easily and painlessly, but chose a far happier death of suffering with great love.

As I said [earlier in the talk], I’m a wimp.  But I hope I can learn from Ali to be willing to suffer lovingly during life and especially at the end of my life.

Ali was small - four foot something and getting smaller as her spine collapsed. But she walked head and shoulders above us all.

1st anniversary Mass in London - Wed 3 December

Corpus Christi Church, Maiden Lane

It is hard to believe that nearly a year has already passed since Ali died, and yet it is far too long since she was with us.

The anniversary of Ali's death falls on Wednesday 3 December.  Her friend and pro-life colleague Fr Brendan Gerard has very kindly arranged for an anniversary Solemn Requiem Mass to be sung on that day at 6.30pm at Corpus Christi Church, Maiden Lane,  London WC2E 7NB.  The nearest tube station is Covent Garden.

Fr Brendan will be the celebrant of the traditional Latin Requiem Mass (1962 Missal) with Fr Tim Finigan (deacon) and Fr Michael Cullinan (subdeacon).

All are very welcome to attend.

Looking back

Lourdes -  June 2013

Just a short post. Maybe it doesn't say much - and I realise that still this blog hasn't really even begun to say what needs to be said about Ali.  I have found the past six months a period of upheaval, in which I have wanted to reflect on various memories before beginning, as I know I must  in due course, to share them with others.

Today marks six months since Ali's passing into eternal life on 3 December 2013.  Six months earlier, on 3 June 2013 we arrived in Lourdes after an arduous 8-day car journey through France.  It was so very difficult for Ali, with her having additional pain and problems with basic functioning after breaking her finger (as the photo shows) on the day before we arrived in Lourdes.

Last year was generally a very difficult time for both of us.  Previous years had had their difficulties too.  But the past six months have been incomparably more difficult for me.

I owe many people letters and emails -  and many kind messages, sent while Ali was unwell and after she died, have still not even received a response.  Please excuse me for this.  I hope to write to everyone as soon as I can.

Good Friday

A few days ago I added the text on the right-hand side about "The Purpose of this Blog." However, what is said there needs some clarification: as the text says, it is my conviction that Ali will one day be regarded as one of the great saints, but the identification of individuals as saints is not done so much to honour them, as to honour the work that God has done through them.

Ali was in no doubt whatsoever that she owed everything to God and to the saving sacrifice of Jesus Christ. While Jesus's sacrifice is made present sacramentally at each Holy Mass, Ali particularly liked to be present for the 3pm Good Friday Celebration of the Passion of the Lord.  It upset her greatly that she was too unwell to be present last year.  As she would probably need me, I had expected to stay at home and not attend the service myself, but Ali insisted that I attend it for both of us. My journal for Good Friday 2013 records that Ali especially wanted me to remember her at the 'reproaches' and that she was in tears speaking about them, recalling how beautiful she had found the service, especially the reproaches, when she first attended (at Holy Trinity Church, Dorchester) on Good Friday, 1991.   My journal records that she was in tears several times on Maundy Thursday and Good Friday 2013, speaking of Jesus and how he suffered for her.

The last interview Ali gave was on Ash Wednesday 2012.  It was a major interview, broadcast on the BBC World Service on Good Friday of that year.  In fact, Ali was not too well during the interview, and she very much appreciated the kindness and sensitivity of the programme's presenter, Mark Dowd, and the producer, Caroline Dunne, who came to our home in Dorset to interview Ali.

The interview can be heard online: here.   An article written by Mark Dowd following the interview can also be read:  here

The 22nd of March

Ali in Venice in 1990

When I first knew Ali one of her favourite books, if not her favourite, was Italo Calvino's Invisible Cities. The book consists of a conversation between the Venetian explorer Marco Polo and the Chinese emperor Kublai Khan.  Polo appears to be telling the emperor about a number of cities he has visited, but he is in fact describing just one city - Venice.  Ali had a fascination with Venice and though she spent just one day there, while we were travelling in Europe in Sept-Oct 1990, the visit was one that she treasured.

Ali sometimes quoted from memory passages of Calvino's book, one of the shortest of which is the sentence, given to Marco Polo: "Memory's images, once they are fixed in words, are erased."  The memories of some experiences cannot be adequately expressed; to express them in words can have the effect of distorting and even erasing the memory.

Ali found it difficult to express some experiences in words. Sometimes words are inadequate. An event that occurred many years ago on 22 March, as well as events associated with it, was particularly difficult for Ali to talk about. Of all the dates in the year, I think this is the one that had particular significance for her.  Now is not the time to talk of it, but it doesn't seem right for today to pass without a post to observe the importance that Ali attached to this date.

Ali in front of St Mark's Basilica, Venice, 1990

Feast of Our Lady of Lourdes

The grotto at Lourdes

Today, the 70th day since Ali died, is the feast of Our Lady of Lourdes. 

Lourdes has a unique place in my relationship with Ali.  In the summer of 1989 I took "two weeks out" of my life to travel to Ali's home in Dorset and then to drive through France with her to Lourdes.  It was a life changing trip for me as those "two weeks" extended to more than 24 years with Ali.  Our final journey of significance was also to Lourdes in June 2013, just months before Ali died.

Pope John Paul II established today's feast as the World Day of the Sick.  For today's 22nd World Day of the Sick Pope Francis has written:

Mary, the Mother of Jesus and our Mother....bore in her heart, throughout the pilgrimage of her life, the words of the elderly Simeon who foretold that a sword would pierce her soul, and with persevering strength she stood at the foot of the cross of Jesus.  She knows the way, and for this reason she is the Mother of all of the sick and suffering. To her we can turn with confidence and filial devotion, certain that she will help us, support us and not abandon us.  She is the Mother of the crucified and risen Christ: she stands beside our crosses and she accompanies us on the journey towards the resurrection and the fullness of life.

More than at any other place, Ali learned the purpose and inestimable value of suffering at Lourdes, where she drew close to the Mother of God in an exceptional way. Ali discovered that suffering was not the worst thing, or even a bad thing, to experience.  She knew that it was not even to be borne in a stoical way as something to be merely endured.  On the contrary she discovered that suffering was a gift that could be transformed by one's loving acceptance of it, uniting oneself to the suffering of Jesus and Mary.  Ali became able to say not only that suffering was a "privilege" but that it was - in her words - "the greatest privilege possible in the world."

Ali was extraordinary in various ways, and most of all in her understanding of suffering.  She knew it was right - and indeed an obligation - to be compassionate towards suffering people and to do all that one properly can to relieve their suffering.  She did not believe either that suffering should be deliberately inflicted or that one should refrain from compassionately assisting those who were suffering. And yet she could describe suffering as "the greatest privilege possible" - and she said it and meant it not as an abstract or theoretical idea,  but from the perspective of someone who suffered more intensely than most people.

In being an eloquent witness in defence of human life, Ali knew that those who held the opposing view were seeking to avoid suffering or (similarly) seeking happiness in an inappropriate way.  At the heart of the major bioethical questions in which she was engaged - and ultimately at the heart of all ethical questions - lies the important question of one's view about suffering.

The message of Lourdes is not something to be accepted merely as a doctrine or a theory.  It is something to be lived. Ali trusted Jesus and Mary. She recognised their suffering and she united her own suffering to theirs. In so doing she displayed a wisdom and a holiness that most of us fall well short of.

With Ali on her last pilgrimage to Lourdes in June 2013

A range of tributes to Ali

Ali at home in the garden in July 1999

A number of individuals and organisations from around the world made tributes to Ali, commenting on the work she did principally to defend human life, and also on her notable personal virtues.

From New Zealand, Michelle Kaufman wrote:

The world has been blessed to have such a dedicated, inspiring woman walk amongst us.  Her life, I am sure, will continue to inspire, continue to encourage and continue to be a voice for the most vulnerable in our society today  the weak, the disabled, the unborn and those whose lives are deemed “unworthy of living”.

The Welsh blogger Rhoslyn Thomas described Ali as "an amazing woman" who "defended the weakest of the weak and made it her life's work to do so."

She continued:

Alison was so kind and she regularly helped me when I was struggling with some essay that I was writing about abortion or anything with my studies. I remember when I was sitting my final exams for university last year, she kept telling me that she was offering up her pain for my success. She was really wonderful and I don’t know what we will do without her…except pray to her!

Paul Russell recalled a lecture tour given by Ali in Australia some years ago and "especially her passion for life."

From Canada, Paul Tuns wrote appreciatively:

The pro-life movement and the disabilities community has fortunate to have Davis for the extended period after her fortunately failed suicide attempt; she was a powerful and much-needed voice for those with disabilities in combating the Culture of Death. 

The Sisters of the Gospel of Life in Scotland added their tribute:

Her life was full of faith after her conversion to Catholicism and her words were full of witness.  To hear her speak of her life, which had been one of pain and suffering as well as joy and love, was a privilege. 

On a more personal note Alison was a modest, witty, generous person whose light shone so brightly.  That light has gone from this earth with her death,  but with God she will shine even more brightly,  we are sure.

Other appreciative tributes came from the US group Not Dead Yet and well-respected English priests Fr Tim Finigan and Fr Ray Blake.  Fr Blake went out of his way to be present on the evening of Thursday 12 December and concelebrated Mass after Ali's body was received into the Church.  He repeated some extraordinary things that were said about Ali on that night, about which I intend to say much more in due course.

On several news sites and blogs readers made comments expressing their appreciation of Ali. Some readers knew her well, others didn't know her at all.  I was especially struck by the comment left in response to the obituary in the Catholic Herald by a reader, Paul Priest, who is not personally known to me and I do not think Ali knew him. He wrote:

The best of us: 

That lone voice who 'recalled to life' the conscience of the Pro-Life movement.
Thank God for her. 

Few may realise but that lady's legacy will change the world
Bless her name.

I do not think that Paul Priest overstated Ali's contribution to the pro-life movement and the world. On the contrary, in spite of the wisdom of his insightful remarks, I think that her contribution will one day be recognised as being greater than he anticipates.

A 'thank you' from Not Dead Yet (UK)

Not Dead Yet UK is a network of disabled people, founded in the UK in 2006, to oppose the legalised killing of disabled people.  An appreciation of Ali was posted on its website on 6 December 2013

We say farewell and 'thank you' to Alison Davis

‘Alison Davis was born with spina bifida. She later developed conditions including osteoporosis, arthritis and chronic obstructive pulmonary disease. Coping with these permanently disabling and painful conditions dominated but did not define her life. Indeed, they led her to champion the rights of the vulnerable, the disabled and the unborn, first as an atheist and then as a Catholic.’ (Obituary Catholic Herald 3 December 2013)

Not Dead Yet (UK) has always valued Alison’s thinking and work, and her experience of a disabled life worth living. She was particularly dedicated to the defence of disabled children and babies. We have never pretended that we saw eye-to-eye on every subject. But then Alison herself often pointed out she didn’t see eye-to-eye with her earlier self either. We certainly agreed on this: legalizing euthanasia is something we must resist at all costs. NDY (UK) is first and foremost a coalition, with one focus. So in the true spirit of standing together against euthanasia and this wider attack on disabled people, she was always generous with her time and thoughts.

Her thinking was deeply affected by Louise, the baby euthanased in 1979 because of the same impairments as her own, by deliberate starvation and dehydration. She was one of the first to protest vociferously against what has now become possible in Holland under the Gronignen Protocol. If her response to that shocking case led her to a different place from our own, that does not in any way negate our respect for her determination and the work she demanded of herself from her conviction, and which also led her and Colin (Harte) to set up a charity supporting disabled children in Southern India in 1995. Her work for No Less Human focused on the killing of disabled babies. Given that the law in the UK allows for termination of pregnancy right up to the moment before birth, she fought for people to recognize this as part of the same discrimination against disabled people that allowed for their termination after birth. 

She shared our resistance to the dangers of legalizing euthanasia. She cited her own feelings as evidence, that if people were legally encouraged to make end-of-life choices at the time, she might not have survived her own despair.  In taking the steps to speak openly about those moments, she opened the door to many to understand that we can all experience such ‘lows’, but even when they are very long-lasting (10 years in her case) we can find a new meaning in our lives. Her disability was not irrelevant, but as the quote above says, those impairments and life-limiting conditions did not define the person. Too many of those who want us gone miss this crucial point: seeing we are disabled is not a reason for assuming we should want to die.

We mourn her passing and are grateful to have known her and for the contribution she made to our debates and campaigns. A woman of principal we will miss her.

Ali being interviewed at a rally outside Parliament on 12 May 2006, the day that Not Dead Yet UK was officially launched at the House of Lords

Tribute on LifeSiteNews.com

This tribute to Ali, written by Alex Schadenberg, the Executive Director of the Euthanasia Prevention Coalition, was published by LifeSiteNews.com on Friday 6 December 2013:

Alison Davis, the leader of the disability rights group No Less Human, RIP

Alison meeting Pope Benedict XVI

I lost a friend and we lost a great leader on December 3. Alison Davis, who was born with Spina Bifida and hydrocephalus, became the leader of the disability rights group – No Less Human in the 1990’s but Alison had already been active in the fight to protect children with disabilities from being killed based on eugenic attitudes.

Alison was one of the world’s greatest advocates for the right to life of people with disabilities. She was a tremendously caring person who effectively communicated her support of life and opposition to killing through euthanasia.

Alison first became involved in the issue of euthanasia when she wrote a moving letter concerning the killing of newborns with disabilities. In fact children with Spina Bifida were considered by academics who promote quality of life over caring that leads to children with disabilities being treated as “better off dead."

The Groningen Protocol, that was developed to permit euthanasia for children with disabilities in the Netherlands, was based on the euthanasia deaths of 22 children born with Spina Bifida.

I first became aware of Alison through her story that was published on the No Less Human website.

Alison was an incredibly effective spokesperson against euthanasia because she understood pain, suffering and depression.

Alison lived with a significant amount of suffering especially later in life when she developed conditions including osteoporosis, arthritis and chronic obstructive pulmonary disease.

For many years Alison wanted to commit suicide, due to living with considerable pain that led to Alison living significant depression.

Alison was blessed by her care-giver Colin Harte, who from 1987 to her death, he became a constant companion and devoted care-giver. In 1995, Alison and Colin established a charity for children with disabilities in South India who are in need of support and care.

Alison provided me with a great gift, at a conference in Rome, when she allowed me to bring her forward to receive a blessing from Pope Benedict, which also enabled me to meet the Pope.

In my life, I have only met a few people like Alison who always expressed true love and compassion for people needing care and compassion.

Her leadership, her caring personality, her understanding of depression, and her human vitality will be missed.

We lost a real leader, but we continue to be inspired by her life.

Alison Davis with Colin Harte in Rome

SPUC's tribute to Ali

Ali worked for the Society for the Protection of Unborn Children (SPUC) for 30 years.  John Smeaton, SPUC's chief executive, wrote a tribute to Ali on his blog, on the day she died:

Tuesday, 3 December 2013

Alison Davis, leader of SPUC's division for disabled people, is mourned

Alison Davis, the leader of No Less Human, the division for disabled people within SPUC, died this morning at 08:40 GMT, aged 58. She had been unwell for several years, and a long-term difficulty in eating resulted in her sad passing this morning.

In a statement earlier this morning, I said:

"Everyone in SPUC and the whole pro-life movement will be greatly saddened at her passing. Frail in body, she was full of strength in defence of the most defenceless human beings - disabled unborn children. Her keen insight and uncompromising solidarity have proved a powerful defence for the sick and disabled targeted with euthanasia. Her own early struggle with temptations to suicide made her an exceptional witness that life is always worth living. Alison's strong Catholic faith and her love of children moved her to care for disabled children in India. Countless people touched by her life will now be praying that Alison, her family and her friends will receive the peace they seek."

Fr John Fleming, SPUC's bioethical consultant, said:

"Alison was a great pro-life warrior, and a wonderful example to us all of one who accepted her sufferings with astonishing equanimity. I also wish to pay tribute to Colin Harte, whose care for Alison was heroic, constant, and expert, and who greatly enhanced Alison's quality of life in every possible way."

Alison Davis and SPUC's division for disabled people ("No Less Human")

Alison Davis, who led SPUC’s No Less Human since 1982, had spina bifida and was a major commentator on anti-life philosophies and policies which discriminate, lethally, against disabled people http://www.spuc.org.uk/about/no-less-human/alison No Less Human, SPUC’s division for disabled people, their loved ones and carers http://www.spuc.org.uk/about/no-less-human/about promotes the equal status, worth and rights of disabled people, including the most fundamental right of all – the  right to life, from conception to natural death. In spite of serious illness, Alison continued to write, publish and broadcast on the eugenic nature of the Abortion Act and on healthcare, government policies, which treat disabled lives as expendable – including major interviews on BBC’s Newsnight, the BBC World Service’s series Heart and Soul: Choosing Life and leading letters in the national newspapers throughout Britain. In addition, in August 2009 she published a paper showing how euthanasia has spread, starting with the 1992 Bland judgment, and how it has expanded as a result of the 2005 Mental Capacity Act and came to be implemented through the Liverpool Care Pathway.

In September 1982, in my report to SPUC’s national council, I proposed that Alison Davis should be asked to join the Council to represent SPUC’s Handicap Division, now known as No Less Human. The minutes state that my proposal "was warmly agreed by the Council".

Alison's early involvement in SPUC

Not long before, Alison, who had previously been in favour of abortion, had changed her mind on the issue, having read about a baby named Louise born in High Wycombe Hospital who was found to have both spina bifida and hydrocephalus. In Alison’s words:

"Her paediatrician, Dr. Donald Garrow, persuaded her parents that she would be ‘better off dead’ as she would be unable to walk, and would thus compare herself unfavourably with her two able-bodied sisters ...  Dr. Garrow made a video of her last days which was shown on daytime TV, and which I saw. Louise's face was grey, her eyes sunken. I wrote to Dr. Garrow at the hospital and explained that I was disabled to just the extent that Louise had been, and that I felt he had made a horribly wrong decision. In response he invited me to speak to his ‘team’ at the hospital, which I accepted. I cannot remember exactly what I said, but I pointed out that life with spina bifida and hydrocephalus could be full and happy, and that it was in any case wrong to deliberately kill any child on grounds of his/her disability."

Alison remained at the helm of SPUC’s work for disability rights ever since, speaking at SPUC’s Mother Teresa Rally in 1983 and joining SPUC's full-time staff in 2000.

Obituary in Bournemouth Daily Echo

Alison Davis

This is the obituary published by the Daily Echo on Friday 12 December 2013:

PRO-life campaigner and charity founder Alison Davis died at home in Milborne St Andrew on Tuesday, December 3, aged 58.

Paralysed from the waist down with spina bifida, which confined her to a wheelchair from the age of 14, her life was defined by a determination to overcome the limits imposed by her condition.

Born in Bolton on January 8, 1955, Mrs Davis grew up in Stevenage before attending the University of Essex in Colchester, where she studied sociology.

At the time she was pro-abortion, but news reports of doctors starving disabled newborns and terminating unborn children gradually changed her views.

Remaining at the university after her degree, where she worked as a secretary, she joined the Society for the Protection of Unborn Children (SPUC) and later joined their Handicap Division (No Less Human), becoming a high-profile defender of the pro-life rights of disabled people.

It was in Colchester that she met her husband of ten years, whom she married in 1975, but they separated in 1985 at the beginning of a very difficult period in her life.

Mrs Davis, who suffered from several painful and disabling conditions, including osteoporosis, arthritis and chronic obstructive pulmonary disease, experienced ten difficult years after her separation, in which she made several suicide attempts.

Gradually over the early 1990s she found the strength to overcome her difficulties and personal sorrows, with the help of her friends and carers, and a new-found faith.

Although raised a Christian she was an atheist for many years, and she explored other religions during this time. However, after reading the Bible she came to view Catholicism as her faith.

In 1987 she met Colin Harte, who was working for the SPUC, and he became her carer and devoted companion. The same year she moved to Milborne St Andrew, near Bere Regis, where she lived for the rest of her life.

The great transformation in her life came in 1995, when she and Mr Harte visited a disabled children’s centre in southern India, and she was greatly moved by the plight of the young people she met.

A simple fundraising appeal they set up grew in time into a full-blown charity, Enable, supporting disabled youngsters at two children’s centres.

She said the children had given her a love of life, and this was the reason she campaigned against voluntary euthanasia, which she described as the “hallmark of a society that has given up on its most vulnerable members”.

She argued that had she been given the option to take her own life between 1985 and 1995 she would have taken it, and would never have had the chance to turn her life around.

During the 1990s Mrs Davis befriended an American death row inmate, Sammy Felder, who had been convicted of killing a disabled man in his care.

A life-long opponent of the death penalty, she was moved by his plight despite his crime, and witnessed his execution in December 1999, the last to take place in the US before the new millennium.

She was awarded a Clarins Woman of the Year award, Britain’s Most Inspiring Woman from Marie Claire magazine and a Catholic Woman of the Year award.

Mrs Davis came to believe there was value in suffering, but never complained of her difficulties to others, and she was always very modest about her achievements.

She loved music, nature and the countryside around her home, and was happiest when among her friends.

A Requiem Mass will be held today at 12pm at Holy Trinity Catholic Church in High West Street,
Dorchester. She will then be buried in the cemetery at St Andrew’s Church, Milborne St Andrew.

Ali skype interview 2011

The online version of the Daily Telegraph obituary included a You Tube video of Ali from 2011, in which she gave an interview by Skype to a Canadian group opposing euthanasia called Vivre dans la Dignité (Living with Dignity). 

Daily Telegraph Obituary

I will post some obituaries and other notices about Ali that appeared after she died, before going on to post other items.

The obituary in the Daily Telegraph was published in the paper on 12 December, and appeared online the previous day.

___________________________________________________________________________

Alison Davis - obituary

Alison Davis campaigned against legalising assisted suicide despite her own suffering

Alison Davis

Alison Davis , who has died aged 58, was a severely disabled woman who became a prominent campaigner against the legalisation of assisted suicide, a campaign which was all the more potent because for many years she had wanted to end her own life.

Alison Davis was born on January 8 1955 with spina bifida and hydrocephalus and later developed emphysema, osteoporosis and arthritis. By her thirties her spine was collapsing, trapping nerves and causing excruciating pain. Confined to a wheelchair from the age of 14, she needed full-time care.

As a young adult, Alison Davis tried to live as normal a life as possible. She read Sociology at university and married in 1975. But in 1985 her marriage failed and, unable to cope, she tried to kill herself on several occasions.

Friends found her in time, however, and she survived. “I had a settled wish to die that lasted over 10 years,” she wrote later, “and at that time doctors thought (wrongly as it turns out) that I had only a very short time to live.” If “voluntary” euthanasia had been a legal choice at the time, she said, she would have requested it.

A combination of factors had helped her to see that she had a worthwhile future, including her growing involvement in charity work, though another key factor was her gradual conversion to Roman Catholicism.

As a young woman she had stopped believing in God and had supported a woman’s “right to choose”; but her attitude changed after she read newspaper reports of the case of a baby girl who had been born in hospital with the same disabilities as hers, but who had been sedated and, in the terminology of the time, allowed to succumb to the inevitable “with dignity”. Shocked to think that she, too, might have suffered the same fate, in 1981 she wrote a letter to the Guardian attacking the “killing” of newborn disabled babies.

As a result she was contacted by the pro-life Society for the Protection of Unborn Children (SPUC) which sought to convince her that killing a newborn disabled child was merely an extension of the legalised practice of aborting the unborn. From 1983 Alison Davis began working for SPUC’s new Handicap Division (later renamed No Less Human), and after two pilgrimages to Lourdes she was received into the Catholic Church in 1991.

In the years that followed she became a leading spokeswoman not only in opposition to attempts to introduce legislation allowing assisted suicide, but on such matters as abortion, genetic screening and embryonic stem cell research, which she acknowledged might potentially help people with conditions like hers, but opposed on the basis of the belief that life begins at the moment of conception.

In 1987 Alison Davis had met Colin Harte, who was working for SPUC and later wrote Changing Unjust Laws Justly; Pro-Life Solidarity with the Last and the Least (2005). He became her carer and companion, and in 1995, with his help, she set up Enable, a charity for disabled children in the Indian state of Andhra Pradesh. It gave her a renewed purpose in life and on her birthday in 2001 the charity opened its first new home, named after her.

“Every time I go to India I think 'I don’t know if I can do this any more.’ Then I see all my children, lined up waiting to see me, and I know that it’s all worthwhile,” she explained. “They all call me 'mummy’.”

In 2002 Alison Davis won the Clarins Woman of the Year title for her charity work, and the following year was named Britain’s most inspirational woman in a competition organised by the Body Shop and Marie Claire magazine.

Alison Davis, born January 8 1955, died December 3 2013