"Mary said 'yes' and saved the world"

Ali at the Chapel of the Annunciation, Nazareth (27 Sept 2005)

In a recent post I mentioned that I did not know how to pray the rosary until Ali taught me at the age of 23. She taught me as we returned from Lourdes, on the trip that led to my staying with her in Dorset. Though born and raised a Catholic I did not 'get' the role of Mary.   I had been to Lourdes on two occasions, 5-6 years before I went with Ali in 1989,  but I neither understood the role of Mary nor prayed the rosary.  The night we left Lourdes, Friday 28 July 1989, Ali was somewhat distressed (which I'll write about another time).  Later, she calmed down and, as she spoke quietly,  I was struck by the profundity of her knowledge of and acceptance of the Catholic faith - even though she was not then a Catholic.  One phrase - a very simple phrase - stood out for me. Ali expressed a truth that I had not known until then - in spite of all my years of attending Catholic schools and Masses, etc. -  when she said very simply:  "Mary said 'yes' and saved the world." The words hit me profoundly and etched themselves on my mind, dominating my thoughts in the following days.

In September 2005, during our first and only pilgrimage to the Holy Land,  Ali and I visited the place where that 'yes' was uttered.  We traveled by car to Nazareth and, not being part of a larger group, were able to visit the Chapel of the Annunciation (within the large Basilica of the Annunciation) and spend a considerable time alone there pondering on Mary's 'yes' which saved the world.  The Chapel is the place of Mary's 'yes'  and of the Incarnation of the Son of Jesus, hence the inscription on the altar: "Verbum caro hic factum est"  (Here the Word was made flesh). Jesus took flesh directly as a result of Mary's 'yes'.  He is the Saviour of the World.  But without Mary's 'yes' we would have no Saviour.

Today the Church celebrates the great feast of the Annunciation.  The Church immerses herself in the mystery of the angel Gabriel's revelation to Mary, her 'yes,' and the Incarnation of the Son of God as a zygote and developing embryo.   It is a celebration of the awesomeness of human life from its very beginning,  and of the redemption and eternal life that God desires for each of us.  Whether natural or eternal, may we always be willing to say 'yes' to life and God's will for us.

27 Sept 2005:  Chapel of the Annunciation, Nazareth

27 Sept 2005:  Ali outside the Basilica of the Annunciation, Nazareth

Libenter gloriabor in infirmitatibus meis

Libenter gloriabor in infirmitatibus meis

The second reading at Ali's funeral was taken from the 2nd letter of St Paul to the Corinthians.  It was a passage Ali introduced me to shortly after I started living in Dorset in August 1989, noting the paradox that, contrary to the world's estimation of power, true power is discovered in weakness and infirmities and brokenness. It was one of Ali's favourite passages of Scripture, if not her favourite. Whereas the 'natural' tendency is to esteem and "boast" of health, money, success, power, good looks, fame, and such things, St Paul makes the extraordinary "boast" of nothing other than his weaknesses.

On my own behalf I will not boast, except of my weaknesses.  But if I wish to boast, I will not be a fool, for I will be speaking the truth. But I refrain from it, so that no one may think better of me than what is seen in me or heard from me, even considering the exceptional character of the revelations.  Therefore, to keep me from being too elated, a thorn was given me in the flesh, a messenger of Satan to torment me, to keep me from being too elated. Three times I appealed to the Lord about this, that it would leave me, but he said to me, "My grace is sufficient for you, for power is made perfect in weakness."  So, I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses [libenter igitur gloriabor in infirmitatibus meis], so that the power of Christ may dwell in me.  Therefore I am content with weaknesses, insults, hardships, persecutions, and calamities for the sake of Christ; for whenever I am weak, then I am strong.  (2 Cor 12: 5-10. NRSV translation)

Libenter gloriabor in infirmitatibus meis:   I will gladly boast of my weaknesses.  Other translations render the Latin differently.  For example, the Douay-Rheims translation is "Gladly will I glory in my infirmities." This short phrase, from a passage of the Holy Bible that meant so much for Ali, seems to me to be a fitting epitaph for her.  Ali "gloried" in her weaknesses - her infirmities of body, mind and spirit.  Her infirmities were not merely the obvious limitations associated with physical disability, sickness and pain, but also various social, emotional, mental and spiritual sufferings that she experienced acutely.  It seems fitting to me for Ali's epitaph to be expressed in the Latin, which leaves it open to different interpretations.

Ali recognised that her many weaknesses and varied sufferings were a great gift.  She could gladly accept them in her life,  and gladly accept other people with weaknesses and sufferings, because she recognised the paradox of the greatness of the gift. A particularly acute "gift of suffering" was encapsulated in an event on 22 March, a few years before I got to know Ali.   The day was one of great suffering for her, but in it she saw the face of the divine.  It changed her life.

It has taken me far too long to arrange for Ali's headstone to be installed over her grave by the village church in Milborne St Andrew,  Dorset. I had been informed that it would be ready for installation in May.  Yesterday I was told that it might be installed today.  As the pictures show,  the headstone has been installed.  And it is fitting that it should have happened on this date. 

Ali's headstone (2nd from left) with St Andrew's Church in the background.

Ali's headstone - installed on 22 March 2019